-Z-
maria b.
jig burn
Filed under: Games, Gee Thanks | Tags: bears, Fun, gchat, Packers, sports, things -z- likes, ya got jokes
The Ginger: ok, so this family of bears is getting divorced, and the judge asks the baby bear
“do you want to go live with your dad?”
me: i like this already
The Ginger: and he says “no my dad beats me, i don’t want to live with him”
“well how about living with your mom then?”
“no, she beats me everyday too!”
“well where do you want to live then?”
and the baby bear says “i want to go live in chicago. because the bears there, don’t beat anybody.”
Filed under: Celeb-U-Messes, Creepy, Fail, religion. ugh., Sex, Tragedy | Tags: babies, bullshit, clown car, Disgusting Things, Douchebags, Duggar Family, Evolution, gchat, Idiots, old-fashioned chauvanism, penis, people are stupid, Sad., Sexo, the horror!, uterus, va jay jay, vadge
This woman has been preggo for over 20 years.
Brudda: I sent you a thing to piss you off! does that suck or what?
me: yeah i saw that. good, i’m sure that clown car wasn’t quite full enough. maybe mother duggar just loooooves to fuuuuuck.
Brudda: yeah but with all those kids, whose got the time?
me: her vadge must be totally blown out
Brudda: true that. These days her husband probably just jumps in feet first and masturbates. And that…is Duggar sex.
me: haha GROSS
Brudda:
(more…)
Filed under: Celeb-U-Messes, Creepy, deep thoughts, Fail, just saying..., relationships | Tags: abdominals, Douchebags, Epic Lovers and Men, gchat, hip-hop, HLM, Idiots, penis, relationships, Sexo, stuff .m. likes, The Daily Show, the horror!, Ursher
Low-rise men's jeans make me slightly uncomfortable...
Gchat just now:
-Z-: there are pple singing outside my apt
.m.: singing while plotting their shooting?
-Z-: “i’m your maann you’re my giiiirl and i’m gonna tell it to the whooole wide wooorld”someone is mourning ursher’s recent divorce
.m.: hahaha with all these guys who claim to be such epic lovers and Men, their track record with the ladies sure is shitty
I just fell in love with this term .m. created. Epic Lovers and Men. It’s true. So this post is about you, Ursher. Mostly because some douches were singing one of your songs outside my apartment door. Loudly. Interrupting The Daily Show. I’m not sure any guy singing love ballads claiming to be Epic Lover and Man is good in the sack, or emotionally intelligent enough not to fuck up every relationship in their life with their ultimate douchiness.
Yes, Ursher, your ballads and abdominals caused some women to think you were in the business of Romance, but this was false advertising! Because great producers and abdominals are all you know! You were never required to learn how to be a human being, let alone an Epic Lover.
Feel free to prove me wrong….but….something tells me (your failed marriage & relationships, mostly) that you are not an Epic Lover, but actually an Epic Fail. Don’t worry, most dudes are the same way. They just don’t have a label and your personal trainer.
Filed under: Celeb-U-Messes, Fail, Hating, HLM, just saying..., LGBT, religion. ugh., shame shame shame | Tags: 50's Throwback, Civil Rights, Crazy, Disgusting Things, Equal Rights, feminism, Gay Marriage, gchat, Idiots, implants, invasive surgery, Jesus, Jezebel, Pageants
How are you in any way a representative of California? I mean, besides your implants.
-Z-: i just read in jezebel that miss california organization paid for that miss california’s breast implants
that fucking bitch
.m.: i know
i almost blogged on it
but it’s just bullshit
who cares about that ho
-Z-: i’m thinking about it
you judgmental fuck….
all your fucking “values”
.m.: right
would jesus get implants??
-Z-: apparently don’t apply to ripping holes in your body and sticking foreign objects in you
.m.: is there some spiritual aspect to getting/having implants that i don’t know about? do they get you closer to god?
-Z-: maybe they have holy saline in them
.m.: hahaha
-Z-: role model my ass
.m.: ugh
now i want to blog on that shit
but not enough to actually do it
-Z-: lol i think i’m going to
Filed under: Dating, Fail, Hating, HLM, just saying..., relationships, Sex, Sunday Blog-a-thon, Television | Tags: 50's Throwback, bullshit, common sense, Crazy, Disgusting Things, Ex, Feelings, feminism, gchat, hollywood, Idiots, relationships, stereotypes, Tough Love, Woobie
- Girl Who Wants to Get Married NOW
- Nearing 40 Woman Loves Career More Than Catering to Men
- Crazy Gets Opinion On Men She Dates From Her Cats
- The Slut (of cooouurrssee)
- The Loud One
- The Drunk
- The Gold Digger
More opinions and how .m. and I would be on Tough Love after the jump: (more…)
Filed under: Being Sneaky, Fail, Hating, Jorb, shame shame shame | Tags: babies, bullshit, Crazy, Disgusting Things, ENolte, gchat, Glaucoma, HLM, Idiots, Miscarriage, NSA, Parenting, Transfats, Vending Machine Baby
This morning, I got to the office promptly at 8:00 a.m. Got myself a cup of coffee. Settled in to my desk to get ready for another great day of work!
*Phone Rings*
Filed under: Fashion, Gee Thanks, just saying..., religion. ugh., Sex, shame shame shame | Tags: 50's Throwback, Blog Outing, Crazy, gchat, impure thoughts, Lech, NSA, Swimwear!, Want! Want! Want!, Wholesome Wear, Whoredom
I can't keep my dirty dirty eyes off her deliciously bare ankles!
I’m getting pumped for summer. Why? Because I just found out that there are new swimsuit options that will revert us ladies out of whoredom! Who turned me on to this? None other than the NSA.
gchat convo:
NSA: http://www.wholesomewear.com/page-4.html
you should look into these
for summer
Is NSA trying to save me from whoredom? Regardless, I’ve got pretty hot wrists and ankles, and that bathe-u-tard isn’t going to save this little lady from the roving dirty sinful eyes and thoughts of the impure. Looks like I’ll be sticking to the bikini. Unless .m. wants to get one, too! We could make an outing of it!
This is what I propose, .m. I vote that we get us some WholesomeWear. Go to the beach this summer. And act as lewd and disgusting as possible. Hit on everything and everybody around us. Writhe in the surf. Cuss like sailors. We’ll take pictures and blog about the experience!
Wait…how much do these shits cost? Hmm….
