-Z-
maria b.
jig burn
Filed under: Adventure!, Ballers & Shot Callers, Celeb-U-Messes, everybody does it., shame shame shame | Tags: abidals!, Crazy, Douchebags, Fun, Lobster, things -z- likes, Toitle
Toitle was geeking all night!
My friend, Brochardt, and I got these little animals in a 25 cent machine some months back. Mine’s a Turtle, hers is a Lobster. Needless to say, Toitle the Turtle gets into lots of trouble. He’s the Lindsay Lohan trainwreck of tiny plastic animals. I can’t keep him out of trouble. Mistaking sugar for coke lines, trying to steal cigs from people, little green crotch shots for the paparazzi, trying to swim in my coffee in the morning at work…. Lobster is much more conservative than Toitle, I can tell you that much.
Filed under: Ballers & Shot Callers, deep thoughts, Interwebz | Tags: Awesome, Bea Arthur, Fun, Golden Girls, things -z- likes
Thank yooooou Jezebel for this site:
Filed under: cool beans, Games, Interwebz | Tags: Awesome, Fun, Jorb, Mouse Path, things -z- likes
I’ve been amusing myself with this program, Mouse Path all day. It’s a simple click of a button and your cursor is followed visually all day long. It’s like making art, without any effort! The dots are created when your mouse is idle, the longer it is in one spot, the larger the dot toggle. So fun!!
Filed under: Ballers & Shot Callers, Creepy, Kitteh, Nature, Science | Tags: abidals!, Awesome, Disgusting Things, Evolution, Naked Mole Rat, Popular Science, Rat King, Reincarnation, scrotum, things -z- likes
Poor lil' guy. Looks like a scrote.
I don’t believe in reincarnation, but if I did, I would hope to come back as the Naked Mole Rat. Popular Science tells me that the Naked Mole Rat is immune to cancer. Why? (Devrah, you’re gonna like this)
Turns out, humans only have one gene that protects us against cancer, p27, whereas that pimp, the Naked Mole Rat, has two. Their second gene, p16, is expressed in a way that instructs cells to stop dividing.
Other things Popular Science told me about the Naked Mole Rat that makes me want to be one in the next life:
- Naked Mole Rats have mad longevity. They swagger around way longer than other stupid rodents.
- Their lips are behind their front teeth. They’re smiling all the time. Makes sense, they don’t get cancer. I’d be happy, too.
- They breathe mostly through their skin.
- Acid doesn’t burn them.
What better animals is there to be?
Now the only question is, what do I have to do in this life to get the Naked Mole Rat hookup the next time around?
Filed under: Ballers & Shot Callers, cool beans, Games, Interwebz, Jorb | Tags: Awesome, Fun, things -z- likes, Trivial Pursuit, weekend
Trivial Pursuit has an online Battle of the Sexes going on. I’ve been answering trivia all day at jorb, and with my brilliance, have been adding point after point onto the Girls Team.
Okay! Off I go to engage in Weekend Shenanigans!
Filed under: Adventure!, Ballers & Shot Callers, cool beans, just saying..., Sex, Sunday Blog-a-thon, The Finer Things in Life | Tags: A Woman's Touch, Awesome, Fun, I Win!, Lily, Nea, NSA, penis, sex toys, Sexo, Target, things -z- likes, vibrators, Want! Want! Want!, weekend
D called me this morning and told me our first priority of the day was to get new vibrators (both of ours have been out of commission). That said, she swooped down to my house from her Castle of Awesomeness in her Chariot of Ford, picked me up, and away we went to A Woman’s Touch.
We spent a good hour at A Woman’s Touch. Oh man, there are so many options. The staff there, incredible. They gave us free testers of lube, as it was our first time there. They answered all of our questions and when I hemmed and hawed for 25 minutes about whether to drop the mad dollas on the above piece of genius, or get a $30 toothbrush looking vibrator, they didn’t lose their patience….they offered us chocolate! So, I settled on the Nea and D bought the Lily. Essentially, they are the same, except D’s (see below) has a silicone finish (less slippery).
Selling points…they are small and are easily useable solo AND during sexo. They also have mad power and motors guaranteed for a year. The batteries last for 7 hours, and that is in between charges. That’s right, they charge like a cell phone! HUGE SELLING POINT for me and D. Your big O doesn’t get interrupted by dead batteries! I swear, it’s a baller device, and they come in cases that look like a diamond necklace should be inside. They are sweet looking, design oriented. It’s like the iPhone of vibrators (eee!), and I for one, am pleased. D will have to let us know how she likes hers.
I thought I’d try mine out solo first, but Junior the NSA dropped by and got to do the honors. It was UBER great, and now his fears of being replaced have tripled, thanks to my sweet Nea. I might be out of commission for a little while…..I’m just sayin’. Aaawwwiiiiiinkk!
Filed under: Ballers & Shot Callers, cool beans, fury, Gee Thanks, Interwebz, Jorb, The Finer Things in Life, Uncategorized, videos | Tags: Art, Awesome, Ginger, Idiots, NSA, penis, people are stupid, Sexo, stress, the horror!, things -z- likes, Underwear, videos
This morning while jorbing, I corrected a foolish accounting disaster, talked to 4 whiny clients, and muddled through phone calls with several asinine medical providers for the aforementioned whiny clients. Then, the current NSA’s sister tried to friend me on fuckbook. You don’t friend with NSA’s family members. That’s not right. I feel sick.
Just when I thought -Z- was gonna have to choke a bitch, the Ginger sent me the above video. It soothed my frayed and ragey nerves and put a little smile on my face. I love it. And you will, too.
Filed under: Games, Gee Thanks | Tags: bears, Fun, gchat, Packers, sports, things -z- likes, ya got jokes
The Ginger: ok, so this family of bears is getting divorced, and the judge asks the baby bear
“do you want to go live with your dad?”
me: i like this already
The Ginger: and he says “no my dad beats me, i don’t want to live with him”
“well how about living with your mom then?”
“no, she beats me everyday too!”
“well where do you want to live then?”
and the baby bear says “i want to go live in chicago. because the bears there, don’t beat anybody.”
Filed under: Ballers & Shot Callers, cool beans, fury, Interwebz, Nature | Tags: abidals!, Fun, things -z- likes
