Filed under: Dating, general jabbering, Hating | Tags: Dinner Whore, First Dates, Idiots, Mini Golf
So, last night I went out for drinks with some friends. This wasted lame dude was hitting on me (I was the sacrificial goat…so that everyone else could get free shots… “Z, just go over there and be nice to him…say we need some shots”). This exchange got me thinking about some things….
First off, the guy was in his 30’s. He was way pumped about me being a “college girl”, even though I kept reminding him that I’ve been a college alumn for quite some time now.
Second, every time I kept trying to walk away and go back to my friends he would grab my arm and say “Listen…I can feel the attraction between us…” or “You don’t have to tell me I’m right about this, but I can tell you’re attracted to me”. And I would deny it and shake my head.
Then, he asked me if I would go on a date with him. And I said “Well, Keith. What would a first date with you look like?” His answer? “SKYDIVING!”
While I give good ol’ skeezy guy props for coming up with something relatively creative on the spot, I’m pretty sure “skydiving” translates into “um…sexo?”.
But this got me thinking about “First Dates”. HLM will attest to this. My biggest pet peeve is the “Mini Golf” first date. I did a little scoping around the web for a typically male forum and came up with this article from AskMen.com giving men First Date Ideas.
MINI GOLF falls under #3 in the Bronze Ideas!!! #3!??! There are men instructing OTHER MEN to take women on the crappiest first dates ever!!! This is the reasoning behind Mini Golf being a great first date:
“If you can’t tell the difference between a wedge and an iron, maybe miniature golf is the way to go. A cheap and fairly easy “sport,” it allows for some physical contact when you have to give her a crash course on how to hold the putter.”
Please, if you’re reading this, male or female, gay or straight, lets scrap the mini-golf first date. Let’s agree to give putt-putt back to the children where it belongs. It’s mini golf. That tired windmill isn’t going to judge you if you can’t hold a putter a la Tiger Woods. And it’s not going to be sexy when you try to “give her a crash course on how to hold a putter”….it’s going to be condescending and fucking irritating. Not to mention, your first date is likely to damn well be your last.
So, really the point of this rant is to please come up with something creative. Don’t look online for “First Date Ideas”, because they are epic fails. If your creativity fails you, please, just plan on dinner or drinks or coffee. There are plenty “Dinner Whores” out there, who you can con into dinner and THEN try to charm them. (I’m one of them!)
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