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Jake Gyllenhaal: the next John Travolta. like we need one. ~.m. by maria b.

How can anyone take you seriously as an actor like that? Come on. What happened to Donnie Darko and Jack Twist?

i need to get something off my chest. i am officially done with Jake Gyllenhaal. as many of my close friends (and a few random acquaintances) know, i used to think this guy was the sexiest man ever.

but that’s all over now. i was confused when i heard that he was seeing Reese Witherspoon. don’t get me wrong, she’s cute and a good actress. but she’s clearly a “nice” person (i.e. doesn’t have a personality.) Boring. i guess i’d say i was disappointed by his taste in women. but now in movies? that’s too much. 

one of the reasons i liked him so much was his choice of acting roles. with the exception of Bubble Boy and The Day After Tomorrow, i thought his choice of roles was impressive. movies like Donnie Darko, Jarhead, The Good Girl, Moonlight Mile, Proof and Brokeback Mountain were pretty low-budget and didn’t get too much attention. but the plotlines, subject matter and acting in them are really good–i’d even say great. he had a very respectable indie credibility that made him seem intelligent (as an actor) and sexy. and then even Rendition and Zodiac were okay. (yeah, i know there are movies i neglected to mention.)

but this Prince of Persia thing was it for me. there’s no way this movie’s going to be good. it’ll be all set design, special effects and sex with no plot so the acting won’t even matter. if i’m wrong, i’ll say so, no problem. but i won’t be. this will get awful reviews and the only people who will see it will be rabid Gyllenhaal fans and gamers. and they’ll be disappointed, too.

between the settling down with Generic Blonde Girl and her kids and the shitty movie choice, it’s over. he’s officially become Boring Guy. and i don’t think there’s any coming back from that. he should just grow a comb-over, a double-chin and a pot belly now so i can forget how hot i thought he was and just be embarrassed i ever liked him.

he could have been the next Edward Norton. but i’m pretty sure that won’t happen. he’ll turn into the next Nicholas Cage or John Travolta and coast for the rest of his career on his previous work. he’ll choose to do mediocre big-budget studio films just to make bank and get his ego stroked. and his acting will be less believable than the wig he’ll be wearing. (like Travolta. that was a dig. get it? ‘cuz Travolta wears a wig.)

a few years ago, he seemed like less of a tool. he was making good movies and playing complicated roles. now he’s as generic as his girlfriend.

but at least his sister’s still hot. and i can’t think of any embarrassingly shitty movies she’s been in. she’s way cooler than him, but i think that was always true. she was in Secretary and The Dark Knight, for chrissakes.


4 Comments so far
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Girlfriend? Jake has terrible taste in beards.

Comment by Mimi

yet another thing he has in common with travolta. ha!

Comment by masakosan

looking completely ridiculous in bad movie isn’t the end of a career, there is hope , look at Clooney and his “performance of genius” in Batman and Robin lol , he is still in the business and has credibility whereas he isn’t hightly talented!!

As for bad taste in girlfriends ( sorry I am not too much in the “jake is gay” fandom)yeah it’s boring!

Comment by lulu

It’s like he’s trying to look like Scott Stapp from Creed. Even Scott Stapp tries not to look like Scott Stapp. That’s not the Prinse of Persia. Fail.

Comment by eNolte

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