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i’m being lazy today, and i caught some of Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations. i like this show because i love food and i looooove traveling. i don’t like those bullshit “best beach” or “awesome luxury resort” shows. this is about cultures. appreciating other people’s histories and traditions and shit. also, from my little soap box here, i feel empowered enough to make a declaration: i have a thing for Anthony Bourdain. before you judge me, hear me out.
reasons i love anthony bourdain:
- at his core, he’s a hard-ass. he used to do all the hard-core drugs. he’s clean now, but he still doesn’t give a shit about a lot of things.
- he’s a salty old guy with a cynical worldview and a dark, sardonic sense of humor. he makes me laugh.
- he likes The Ramones.
- he’s self-deprecating. when a person doesn’t take himself too seriously, that’s a sure sign that i will like them 1 gazillion times more than if that weren’t the case.
- he’s well-traveled. he goes all over the feckin’ world on his show, and learns all kind of cool stuff and eats amazing-looking food and meets interesting people. he has a healthy curiosity about everything. hot.
- he’s not an idiot. he’s smart. intelligent, even!
- he’s from New Jersey, but he’s classy. he’s eaten crazy shit–sheep testicles, ant eggs, raw seal eye and a beating cobra heart–but he says the most disgusting thing he’s ever ingested is a Chicken McNugget.
- he’s all about giving recognition to and looking out for Latin-American immigrants that work in American restaurant kitchens.
- he hates Rachel Ray. i hate Rachel Ray. what more needs to be said?
- he knows how to cook. hawt.
- he’s a writer. i’d even say a decent one.
so, yeah. i have a thing for Anthony Bourdain (please, don’t call yourself Tony anymore. it reeks of guido and New Jersey. stick to the NYC tip.) he’s old, he’s damaged goods, and he’s married. but whatever. if that falls through, he should get in touch with me.
alright, let ‘er rip. yeah, i have horrible taste in men. let’s hear it. fire away.
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