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Candy Raisins: deviant morsels for culinary masochists. ~.m. by maria b.

 

look at that prick sun.

ok, so i’ve been around a couple decades. i’ve been to more than my fair share of grocery stores and gas stations and investigated every candy aisle i’ve found. but for some reason, when i went today, i saw Candy Raisins for the first time in my life. which doesn’t make sense, cuz they’ve been around since 1976.

first of all, Candy Raisins???? who the fuck thought of that? i have a hard enough time choking real ones down without oatmeal or a cookie accompaniment.  but candy raisins? what kind of sick fuck came up with that?

the brand Web site says “[t]he flavor of this transluscent, honey colored juju is a trade secret but it is ‘reminiscent’ of the palate that enjoyed violet candy and lilac soda pop.” i’ve tried flowery flavored things in America, but the Europeans are the only ones that do that shit right. so bull-fucking-shit, Candy Raisins. i call your bluff.

i’d rather eat Circus Peanuts or pork rinds before trying “Candy Raisins”? so, what’s the deal? have you seen these? have you eaten them? wtf?? somebody explain these to me. please.

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3 Comments so far
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It intrigues me that you capitalize the word “Web”–and it does call for capitalization, so that’s correct–but not other words.

Do you have a stance on this or did it just happen?

Comment by ioncehadpartedhair

eh, no real stance. i generally don’t capitalize my sentences normally, and i believe that’s out of laziness (although, when i began to type this way, it was more unique… now every “artsy” sorority girl is doing it. but those vapid coeds will not change my typing style. i did it first.) i capitalize (probably inconsistently) proper nouns and things i respect. if i’m feeling salty, i’ll intentionally use lowercase letters on things that should otherwise begin with a majuscule (christian, god, for example.) ummmmm, yeah, i think that probably covers my keyboarding/blogging habits. i love that you asked that, by the way.

Comment by masakosan

I have tried Candy Raisins. They are strange (nothing like a real raisin) and vaguely soapy, but I like them.

I wrote more about them here, if you’re so inclined:
http://infomantic.wordpress.com/2008/11/02/whats-made-pewaukee-famous-has-made-a-loser-out-of-me/

Comment by infomantic




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