Filed under: Adventure!, Being Sneaky, cool beans, Creepy, Fail, HLM, religion. ugh., shame shame shame | Tags: Bible Thumping, Breakfast!, crotch rockets, Farmer's Market, Filth Flarn Filth, GPS, Michigan, Nom., Pwned, toilet paper, Undergrad Boys, UP, Yoopers
As you know, .m. and I went on an adventure to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. Clicky the *more* button to see more a dem Yooper sites!
To start our trip, we named our GPS system Robin. Her cool, unimpressed tone would only change when we got off track (ie. getting food/gas) and she would get a bitter, sarcastic tone and tell us she was recalculating. Robin got us where we needed to go, but goddamn, she was a haughty bitch.
We passed a plethora of these types of churches on our way up. There was a solid mixture of fire & brimstone as well as judgey jesus love! For serious, this church was probs on the up and up in comparison, half the drive to the UP was like coasting through the Appalachia. *shudder*
I’m going to let .m. tell this story, because she created it. But the abridged version is this guy on the dusty white crotch rocket was cutting people off and popping wheelies on the highway. .m. schooled his ass by cutting him off while she was side by side with a hoopty and then we flipped him the bird. He got PWNED. Right before he gave us the cunnilingus sign with his fingers…wait….doesn’t that mean we win? Fails like that can only dream of Fine China like ours.
The first night we were there, there was a party at the house of some undergrad boys (people referred to their house as Club Squirrel…they were friends of her little sister). .m. and I had to use the bathroom and this is what we saw. Apparently it IS too hard to replace the toilet paper. Keep scrolling for something even worse about the experience:
Yeah, this is what else we were presented with. Grosstastic. A solid reason not to fuck with younger boys. They’re fucking filthy. After .m. and I gritted our teeth and used the facilities, we walked out of the bathroom together. A line of undergrad boys gawking at us. “Ohmigod…two girls in the bathroom TOGETHER…huh huh…huh huh…wonder what they were doing.” Taking pictures of your stomach turning bathroom to post on the interwebz you dirty fuckers.
The following photos will assuage your disgust…they are of our delightful Yooper breakfast. Enjoy:
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