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Reincarnation Dream: The Naked Mole Rat (Fingers Crossed) by -Z- by -Z-

Poor lil' guy. Looks like a scrote.

I don’t believe in reincarnation, but if I did, I would hope to come back as the Naked Mole Rat.  Popular Science tells me that the Naked Mole Rat is immune to cancer.  Why? (Devrah, you’re gonna like this)

Turns out, humans only have one gene that protects us against cancer, p27, whereas that pimp, the Naked Mole Rat, has two.  Their second gene, p16, is expressed in a way that instructs cells to stop dividing.

Other things Popular Science told me about the Naked Mole Rat that makes me want to be one in the next life:

  • Naked Mole Rats have mad longevity. They swagger around way longer than other stupid rodents.
  • Their lips are behind their front teeth. They’re smiling all the time. Makes sense, they don’t get cancer. I’d be happy, too.
  • They breathe mostly through their skin. 
  • Acid doesn’t burn them. 

What better animals is there to be?

Now the only question is, what do I have to do in this life to get the Naked Mole Rat hookup the next time around?



One Fifth Grade Teacher’s Quest to Help Me Find Jesus & Love Patriarchy by -Z- by -Z-

I am at least 15 out of 38 of these delectable Devil-Loving types of people. What's with the IST'S as opposed to ISTS? Not the point of this post, but I'm just saying.... Sport's Nut's?

 Several weeks ago on Fuckbook, I posted the following quote as my Fuckbook status:

“I call myself a feminist. Isn’t that what you call someone who fights for women’s rights?” ~Dalai Lama

I got some little “Like This” thumbs-up signs and the following comments:

Yeah, more people would be willing to acknowledge/label themselves as feminists if more would be aware of its actual meaning and purpose… Sadly it’s a horribly misinterpreted and distorted term.
-Z-‘s Fifth Grade Teacher
Thanks to many of the feminists in the past who gave it a very bad connotation because of their radical agenda at that time. It wasn’t just about women’s rights, like voting, but distorted family and motherhood, in the process and was demeaning to many women, too.
Sometimes you have be ‘radical’ to shake people up and take notice.
I’d be interested to know what you are referencing when you say “distorted family and motherhood” and how feminism has demeaned women, Fifth Grade Teacher.
-Z-‘s Fifth Grade Teacher
I’m working on your answer!
A couple weeks later, and lo and behold, THE ANSWER pops up in my Fuckbook Message Inbox. 

THE ANSWER after the jump! Continue reading

Compensating For China’s One Child Policy, One Fetus At A Time. by -Z- by -Z-
This woman has been preggo for over 20 years.

This woman has been preggo for over 20 years.

Brudda: I sent you a thing to piss you off! does that suck or what?

me: yeah i saw that. good, i’m sure that clown car wasn’t quite full enough. maybe mother duggar just loooooves to fuuuuuck.

Brudda: yeah but with all those kids, whose got the time?

me: her vadge must be totally blown out

Brudda: true that. These days her husband probably just jumps in feet first and masturbates. And that…is Duggar sex.

me: haha GROSS

Brudda: 🙂 Continue reading

i know how i’m going to die. ~.m. by maria b.

this is how civilization as we know it will end. everybody in developed countries goes, and the “primitive” people of the less technologically dependent parts of the globe will rule the world. mark my words.

i’d really like to use my finishing move on this guy. ~.m. by maria b.

dick cheney is the devil. please add your more clever cheney jokes or insults in the comments section below this post. i don’t have the time to do that at the moment, and i’m unable to come up with a clever, biting way to express how much i detest this insult to democracy and crusader against the Constitution. i mean, i really really hate that guy. i hope he loses all his money and has to file for bankruptcy because of his mounting medical bills and that, while on his death bed, a choir of newlywed gays and lesbians sings Liberace as he fades away.

p.s. in case you forgot, this is my finishing move.

i hate children, but i think it’s mostly ‘cuz of their moms. ~.m. by maria b.

this video is another work of underappreciated genius that makes me think, “GOD, why didn’t i think of that??” the idea that pregnant women are smug (the title of the song in the YouTube clip) is so OBVIOUS and something i’ve been feeling for so long, yet didn’t articulate. but it’s so good, how could i be bitter? i’ll just expound on the idea. Continue reading