-Z-
masakosan
jig burn
Filed under: Ballers & Shot Callers, Fail, fury, just saying..., sports | Tags: bullshit, Crazy, DeMarcus Ware, Equal Rights, Feelings, Jorb, NFL, Recession, Sad., the horror!
Dallas Cowboys DeMarcus Ware should officially not be allowed to make this face. After signing a contract for 78 millies, ESPN has created a tragic fun salary cruncher that puts normal human salaries in perspective.
In light of being in the midst of negotiating my own salary during a recession, I thought this was an appropriate, albeit tear inducing post.
Gah!
Filed under: Ballers & Shot Callers, Creepy, Kitteh, Nature, Science | Tags: abidals!, Awesome, Disgusting Things, Evolution, Naked Mole Rat, Popular Science, Rat King, Reincarnation, scrotum, things -z- likes
Poor lil' guy. Looks like a scrote.
I don’t believe in reincarnation, but if I did, I would hope to come back as the Naked Mole Rat. Popular Science tells me that the Naked Mole Rat is immune to cancer. Why? (Devrah, you’re gonna like this)
Turns out, humans only have one gene that protects us against cancer, p27, whereas that pimp, the Naked Mole Rat, has two. Their second gene, p16, is expressed in a way that instructs cells to stop dividing.
Other things Popular Science told me about the Naked Mole Rat that makes me want to be one in the next life:
- Naked Mole Rats have mad longevity. They swagger around way longer than other stupid rodents.
- Their lips are behind their front teeth. They’re smiling all the time. Makes sense, they don’t get cancer. I’d be happy, too.
- They breathe mostly through their skin.
- Acid doesn’t burn them.
What better animals is there to be?
Now the only question is, what do I have to do in this life to get the Naked Mole Rat hookup the next time around?
Filed under: Ballers & Shot Callers, Games, Interwebz, Jorb, cool beans | Tags: Awesome, Fun, things -z- likes, Trivial Pursuit, weekend
Trivial Pursuit has an online Battle of the Sexes going on. I’ve been answering trivia all day at jorb, and with my brilliance, have been adding point after point onto the Girls Team.
Okay! Off I go to engage in Weekend Shenanigans!
Filed under: Creepy, Fail, Hating, Sex, Sexism, biggest fears, fury, religion. ugh., shame shame shame | Tags: 50's Throwback, babies, bullshit, christians, Conservatives, Crazy, Disgusting Things, Douchebags, Equal Rights, Evolution, feminism, fornicators, Gay Marriage, god, Idiots, jebus, Jeebus, Nosy Old Bitches, old-fashioned chauvanism, penis, people are stupid, Rat King, repugs, Sad., Sexo, sinner, the horror!
I am at least 15 out of 38 of these delectable Devil-Loving types of people. What's with the IST'S as opposed to ISTS? Not the point of this post, but I'm just saying.... Sport's Nut's?
Several weeks ago on Fuckbook, I posted the following quote as my Fuckbook status:
“I call myself a feminist. Isn’t that what you call someone who fights for women’s rights?” ~Dalai Lama
I got some little “Like This” thumbs-up signs and the following comments:
THE ANSWER after the jump! (more…)
Filed under: Celeb-U-Messes, Creepy, Fail, Hating, LGBT, Science, Sex, Sexism, biggest fears, deep thoughts, fury, politics!, religion. ugh., shame shame shame | Tags: bullshit, Civil Rights, Disgusting Things, Douchebags, Equal Rights, Feelings, feminism, Idiots, old-fashioned chauvanism, penis, people are stupid, Rat King, Sad., the horror!, Trans
durrrr....
every time this waste of organic matter opens his mouth my blood pressure rises to the point that you can see the veins in my forehead. my fists clench, my jaw tightens, my pupils dilate, basically my entire sympathetic nervous system goes bat shit. i cannot STAND this guy. how he’s held office in Ohio for more than a term is waaaayyy beyond me. seeing him tromp around behind dubya and parrot everything the bush administration had to say was just gross. and now he’s basically taking the opposite position of Obama on every single issue, just to be contrary and show how “Christian” and “Conservative” he is. he doesn’t work for the American people, and certainly not for Ohioans.
he’s against doing anything about America’s energy policy (besides offshore drilling and more subsidies for oil companies), about tax loopholes and subsidies for huge banks in the financial system, about lobbyists (shocking!), about improving America’s foreign relations and foreign policy, and now we can tack on HATE CRIMES legislation to that list.
that’s right, boehner is opposing the inclusion of the victims of violent crimes committed because of sexual orientation, gender, gender identity and disability (protections are currently extended to victims of crimes based on race, color, religion and national origin.) when his office was questioned about WHY on earth you wouldn’t want to protect people who are targeted based on sexual or gender identity, his spokesman responded that Boehner “supports existing federal protections (based on race, religion, gender, etc) based on immutable characteristics…He does not support adding sexual orientation to the list of protected classes.”
that’s right! WHY would you base any of your political stances on SCIENCE??
so, recap: boehner believes that RELIGION is not a personal choice of a person, but that SEXUAL ORIENTATION is. this guy is so backwards i’m surprised that he’s not aging like Benjamin fucking Button. holy christ.
Filed under: Adventure!, Ballers & Shot Callers, Sex, Sunday Blog-a-thon, The Finer Things in Life, cool beans, just saying... | Tags: weekend, Fun, penis, things -z- likes, Awesome, Want! Want! Want!, NSA, Sexo, vibrators, sex toys, Nea, Lily, A Woman's Touch, Target, I Win!
D called me this morning and told me our first priority of the day was to get new vibrators (both of ours have been out of commission). That said, she swooped down to my house from her Castle of Awesomeness in her Chariot of Ford, picked me up, and away we went to A Woman’s Touch.
We spent a good hour at A Woman’s Touch. Oh man, there are so many options. The staff there, incredible. They gave us free testers of lube, as it was our first time there. They answered all of our questions and when I hemmed and hawed for 25 minutes about whether to drop the mad dollas on the above piece of genius, or get a $30 toothbrush looking vibrator, they didn’t lose their patience….they offered us chocolate! So, I settled on the Nea and D bought the Lily. Essentially, they are the same, except D’s (see below) has a silicone finish (less slippery).
Selling points…they are small and are easily useable solo AND during sexo. They also have mad power and motors guaranteed for a year. The batteries last for 7 hours, and that is in between charges. That’s right, they charge like a cell phone! HUGE SELLING POINT for me and D. Your big O doesn’t get interrupted by dead batteries! I swear, it’s a baller device, and they come in cases that look like a diamond necklace should be inside. They are sweet looking, design oriented. It’s like the iPhone of vibrators (eee!), and I for one, am pleased. D will have to let us know how she likes hers.
I thought I’d try mine out solo first, but Junior the NSA dropped by and got to do the honors. It was UBER great, and now his fears of being replaced have tripled, thanks to my sweet Nea. I might be out of commission for a little while…..I’m just sayin’. Aaawwwiiiiiinkk!
Filed under: Ballers & Shot Callers, Celeb-U-Messes, Hating, Interwebz, Kitteh, Literature, Sexism, Television, cool beans, deep thoughts, politics!, religion. ugh., videos | Tags: Awesome, Evolution, Feelings, feminism, Idiots, Literature, stuff .m. likes, videos, weekend
this is my favorite video clip of the last 6 months. serio, it’s right up there with “kittens, inspired by kittens” and all that stuff.
Filed under: Ballers & Shot Callers, Gee Thanks, Interwebz, Jorb, The Finer Things in Life, cool beans, fury, videos | Tags: Art, Awesome, Ginger, Idiots, NSA, penis, people are stupid, Sexo, stress, the horror!, things -z- likes, Underwear, videos
This morning while jorbing, I corrected a foolish accounting disaster, talked to 4 whiny clients, and muddled through phone calls with several asinine medical providers for the aforementioned whiny clients. Then, the current NSA’s sister tried to friend me on fuckbook. You don’t friend with NSA’s family members. That’s not right. I feel sick.
Just when I thought -Z- was gonna have to choke a bitch, the Ginger sent me the above video. It soothed my frayed and ragey nerves and put a little smile on my face. I love it. And you will, too.
Filed under: Creepy, Fail, Gee Thanks, Hating, Interwebz, Nature, Science, Tragedy, biggest fears, deep thoughts, everybody does it., fury, general jabbering, just saying..., politics!, religion. ugh. | Tags: bullshit, cartoons, Douchebags, Feelings, Idiots, Jeebus, Parenting, people are stupid, the horror!
they can’t handle the U.S. release of a film about Darwin? really? i know it’s not balanced out with a film about creationism or intelligent design, but honestly. it’s not being forced on anyone, you don’t have to see it. so much fist-shaking about Teh Eebul Netchurell Sullekshun and Ebuhlooshun. yikes. oh, right, cuz according to that February Gallup poll, only 39% of Americans believe in evolution. holy shit, indeed.
